Not Happy? Stop Accepting Yourself!

β€œπΌ π‘ π‘‘π‘Žπ‘Ÿπ‘‘π‘’π‘‘ 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔 π‘π‘Žπ‘‘ π‘œπ‘›π‘π‘’ π‘‘β„Žπ‘’ π‘ π‘π‘Žπ‘™π‘’ π‘ β„Žπ‘œπ‘€π‘’π‘‘ 200𝑙𝑏𝑠.. 𝑏𝑒𝑑 π‘›π‘œπ‘€ π‘‘β„Žπ‘Žπ‘‘ πΌβ€™π‘š π‘œπ‘£π‘’π‘Ÿ 210𝑙𝑏𝑠.. π‘‡β„Žπ‘Žπ‘‘ 𝑖𝑠 𝑗𝑒𝑠𝑑 π‘ˆπ‘π΄πΆπΆπΈπ‘ƒπ‘‡π΄π΅πΏπΈ.”

When William told me this during our first call I felt warm and fuzzy inside.

Warm and fuzzy because I knew THEN and THERE that he would be one of my vegan success stories.


Because William made the DECISION to lose his weight. William made the decision to succeed – no matter what.

William made the decision, to stop accepting himself in his current situation.

I know, I know.. In our current times questioning the effectiveness of accepting oneself is a controversial topic.

And don’t get me wrong:

✘ I do not encourage beating yourself up.

✘ I do not encourage questioning one’s own value as a human being.

Both of these things have very little rational value – if any.

Instead, I want to encourage you to simply work on changing what you can change. And accepting what you can not.

And in this video we will be talking exactly about that. We’re talking about improvement and acceptance. And why the latter, is often a roadblock for the former. Are you ready, let’s just jump right into it.

See too often we believe the LIE of 100% accepting ourselves. We give in to videos such as ‘How to fully love and accept yourself the way you are’.

We say things to ourselves like:

  • I need cigarettes. Nothing I can do about that.
  • I’m simply an alcoholic – and I have to accept that.
  • I’m just prone to back pain.
  • My weight makes me insecure about going to the beach. But hey, who needs vacation anyway?

Here’s the thing: If you truly like the way you are – completely ignore everything I’m talking about in this video. More power to you.

However, if deep down you know you’re not happy with your current situation you MUST know that all of those things can be changed if you put in the work.

See this is what I call the β€˜6 Steps of Ingenuine Acceptance’ most of us find ourselves in.

6 Steps Of Ingenuine Acceptance:

  1. Dissatisfaction with current situation
  2. Decision to change
  3. Work on improvement
  4. Failure
  5. Resentment
  6. Ingenuine acceptance of current situation

With this article, I’d like to highlight an alternative way of acceptance.

I call this the β€˜7 Steps of Genuine Acceptance’. This is the way William took (as predicted he turned out to be a huge success story):

7 Steps Of Genuine Acceptance:

  1. Dissatisfaction with current situation
  2. Decision to change
  3. Work on improvement
  4. Failure
  5. Working on improving
  6. Manifestation of desired situation
  7. Genuine acceptance

Notice something? The true problem here is not acceptance. π€πœπœπžπ©π­πšπ§πœπž 𝐒𝐬 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐒𝐟 𝐒𝐭’𝐬 π†π„ππ”πˆππ„.

The problem is simply ingenuine acceptance. Ingenuine acceptance that is bred by the wrong mindset about failure and cultural conditioning.

So stop accepting less than what you deserve. Here’s how to accept yourself fully by getting the right mindset about failure and our society.

Here’s the truth about failure:

See failure is feedback. Nothing more, nothing less.

You failed? That’s good. It means you tried.

Now start again better.

Failure is not the opposite of success. It’s a necessary ingredient.

A child does not give up after falling down 50 times. Neither should you if something is important enough.

An inability to give up on important things will get you far in this life.

Here’s the truth about cultural conditioning:

Society is great.

It provides a living standard for the vast majority of humans that kings a few centuries could have only dreamt about.

Yet, our current society has a dark side:

  • It discourages failure – and therefore discourages trying.
  • It encourages acceptance – and therefore discourages the search of improvement.

And again, both of these things have very little rational value – if any.

So what should you do? How can you truly accept yourself?

Accept the things you can’t change. But start to look out for things in your life that you can not accept.

It’s ok to be dissatisfied with our current situation. It’s human, so don’t beat yourself up over that.

Instead, use your energy of dissatisfaction to improve yourself. Which then leads to genuine acceptance.

And genuine acceptance, leads to happiness.